Why do I get upset when I try to talk?

It’s quite common to feel upset when trying to express yourself, especially after a period like the pandemic that changed so many of our interactions. When you’re talking, you might be trying to convey something that’s important or personal to you, and that can bring up a lot of emotions. It’s also possible that the pandemic has affected your confidence in communication, making it harder to articulate your thoughts and feelings without getting overwhelmed.

Remember, it’s okay to feel this way. Recognizing and accepting these feelings is a great first step. If you want, we can explore techniques to help you manage these emotions and communicate more comfortably. Would you like to try that?

Yes

Let’s start with some techniques that can help you manage your emotions while communicating:

1. Deep Breathing: Before starting a conversation, take a few deep breaths. This helps calm your nervous system and prepares you to speak more clearly.
2. Identify Your Feelings: Sometimes, knowing exactly what you’re feeling can help manage it. Are you feeling anxious, frustrated, or something else? Naming your emotions can reduce their intensity.
3. Practice in a Safe Space: You might find it helpful to practice what you want to say with someone you trust, or even in front of a mirror. This can build your confidence.
4. Speak Slowly: When we’re upset, we often speed up. Try to speak slowly and deliberately. It gives you more control over your words and emotions.
5. Pause and Reflect: If you start feeling overwhelmed in a conversation, it’s okay to pause, take a breath, and collect your thoughts. You can even let the other person know you need a moment.
6. Express Your Feelings: Sometimes, letting the other person know how you’re feeling can help. Saying something like, “I’m feeling a bit anxious about this conversation, but it’s important to me” can set the stage for understanding.

Remember, it’s a journey and it’s okay to take small steps. You’re not alone in this, and it’s perfectly fine to seek support. Would you like to discuss more about these techniques or perhaps try a specific one together?

2

Let’s delve into identifying your feelings. This process can be incredibly powerful in understanding and managing emotions during conversations.

Here’s a simple exercise to help with this:

1. Recognize the Trigger: Think about a recent time when you felt upset during a conversation. What was being discussed? Who were you talking with? Identifying the trigger can help pinpoint the emotions.
2. Name the Emotion: What exactly were you feeling? It might be a mix of emotions — frustration, anxiety, sadness, or something else. Try to name each emotion. It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect word; what matters is getting as close as you can.
3. Explore the Emotion: Ask yourself why you felt that way. Is it related to the topic, the person you were talking with, or perhaps something within yourself? Understanding the ‘why’ can offer insight into your emotional reactions.
4. Acceptance: It’s important to remember that all emotions are valid. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Accepting your emotions as they are can be very liberating.
5. Reflect on Physical Sensations: Sometimes, emotions are also felt physically. Did you feel a knot in your stomach, a racing heart, or tension in your shoulders? Recognizing these can also be a clue to your emotional state.
6. Journaling: If you’re comfortable, writing down these observations can be helpful. It allows you to track patterns over time and become more aware of your emotional triggers.

This exercise is not about changing your emotions, but understanding them. It might take some time to get comfortable with this process, and that’s okay. How do you feel about giving this a try? Do you have a specific situation in mind you’d like to explore?

I took Spanish 2 freshman year and it was way too hard. My mom tried tk encourage me to study more so I wouldn’t fail and it was super stressful. I took Spanish in middle school but I was in my room learning on a computer. Spanish 2 in person in high school was way different

It sounds like transitioning from learning Spanish online during middle school to taking Spanish 2 in person in high school was a challenging experience for you. This change, combined with the pressure of not wanting to fail and your mom encouraging you to study more, understandably brought stress.

Let’s use the emotion identification technique we talked about:

1. Recognize the Trigger: The trigger seems to be the shift from online Spanish classes, which might have been more comfortable for you, to in-person classes in a more demanding environment.
2. Name the Emotion: What emotions do you think you felt during this time? Maybe you felt overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated? Try to identify and name these feelings.
3. Explore the Emotion: Think about why you felt this way. Was it the pressure of the new environment, the fear of not doing well, or the way the material was being taught that was different and more challenging?
4. Acceptance: Understand that your feelings are completely valid. It’s normal to feel stressed when faced with new and challenging situations, especially after such a big shift in your learning environment.
5. Reflect on Physical Sensations: Did you notice any physical reactions when you thought about Spanish class or when you were studying? Maybe a headache, stomachache, or feeling tense?
6. Journaling: If you feel comfortable, writing about this experience and your feelings might help you process them.

By understanding your emotions better, you might find ways to manage similar situations in the future more effectively. How does reflecting on this situation with these steps make you feel?

To continue the conversation, use this link to connect with the Communication Coach for Post-Covid Teens on ChatGPT:

https://chat.openai.com/g/g-yWWn9k32X-communication-coach-for-post-covid-teens